Perhaps you had the right man and ruined it because of your own sad ways. You’ve been single for so long that you are set in your ways that are not “relationship way”. In other words, you want a relationship but you’re not relationship compatible. Yes, you’re selfish.

You may be the type to please him in the bedroom, so you think. You may be the type that cooks, cleans, gives back massages and caters to your new boo. But as soon as something happens that doesn’t go the way YOU want it, you leave. When there is a disagreement, you’re mad because he doesn’t see it YOUR way! Are you seeing the pattern?

Then you act like a single woman in a relationship and you can’t figure out why you can’t keep a relationship. You say stupid crap like:

  1. I don’t need you!

  2. I was better off single!

  3. Girl let me tell you what this idiot (your man) said to me!

  4. I don’t think you are the one for me

Then your girls back you up. They co-sign everything you say. The disagreements turn into arguments and eventually the relationship ends. You know the feeling, ladies. The feeling where you have gone too far. The feeling that you said too much or said the wrong thing.

Didn’t pick up the phone to call him and apologize right away. Didn’t try to make peace because you want him to call you first. And of course, he was wrong and you were right.

But it’s for real this time because you told him, IT’S OVER, for the 20th time and he finally agreed!

Now, you’re sitting at home sick.

Ha! I get tickled because I have seen this happen so many times and I’ve done it once or twice myself. It’s been weeks and you send a pic to him. You say, “hey you left your toothbrush, a pair of socks and some basketball shorts, I can drop them off later this evening”. Girl, we know what that is all about. See where selfishness gets you?

Look, I know men do the same thing.

Listen ladies, a lot of your issues come from being selfish. You’re not healed from the past and you act out to protect yourself from someone who’s not attacking you!

Do you realizing that you’re sabotaging a good thing? Probably not, because you’re not in a good place to see what’s really good or bad. So what do we do?

Calm it down several notches. Start praying about the man you want. Write down the most important qualities you want. Most importantly the qualities NEED in a man and put it in your bible. Be patient. In that waiting period, ask God to prepare you for your husband and allow him to show you what needs to be changed in yourself. Start there and you’ll be a lot further tomorrow than you were before you started reading this article.

Now nod your head, agree and turn the page!

#TanelaBivens #UnpluggedMagazine #PhillipBufford #SexLove

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