What's In Your Head by Phillip Bufford

Perception or Reality. Hard to tell the difference when it’s all jumbled together. Even harder to distinguish the difference when you believe everything in your head.

One of the quickest ways to sabotage any relationship is thinking your perception is the actual reality around you without consistently proving it. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because you believe it, doesn’t mean you’re right. Make a practice of checking your thoughts against the actual truth.

Now of course, there are times what’s in our head is an accurate depiction of the world around us. Other times, regardless of our highly opinionated selves, everything we believe isn’t true. Every decision we make isn’t the best. We screw up. We make mistakes. We get it wrong. So with such an explicit fact staring us in our face, “How do we not fall prey to the deception of our inner perceptions? How do I avoid getting trapped in my own head?”


Listening means not talking (even in your head while your mouth is closed). Listening means making a genuine effort to hear what the other is saying. You’re not disagreeing with them. You’re focused on understanding them. Appreciating their point of view and giving them the space to express themselves will give you greater latitude in the long run. So talk less and listen more. You’ll get more information with less effort. This way you can make clear decisions today without worry of regret tomorrow. It goes a long way.


We don’t know it all. So act like it. Admit you were wrong. It’s ok. Be open to see experiences from a different view and actually see it from a different view. If you have a hard time seeing the other person’s perspective, don’t call them crazy. Ask them to help you understand. Ask them to walk you through their thought process. Ask them what motivates their decisions. As a matter of fact, just ask questions. Arrogance breeds conflict. Humility invites growth. What have your results been lately?


Many of us act so strong because we have an opinion but we get so touchy when that opinion is challenged. Grow up. If your opinion is valid, it’ll withstand scrutiny. So let people challenge it. Let people poke at its legitimacy. Let people try to discredit its results. If they find an error with your point, then redraft it. If they disagree just to disagree, let them. Opinions are not strong because they’re expressed loudly. Opinions are strong because they stand on their own merit against most scrutiny (if not all). If you have to defend your point, then it’s not worth defending.

Implement these tips and you won’t get trapped in your own head as much. SMELL THIS!


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